Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
