I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
wow bdsm is so cute
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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