the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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