I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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