I want to walk on stilts...naked
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize