It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
