so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
