You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I am morally bankrupt
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize