Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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