I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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