then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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