I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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