Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
