tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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