Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
