What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
