We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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