he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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