I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
