If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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