am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
