once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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