Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
