my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize