...so i touched it.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
