Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
