i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
