come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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