i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
