So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
