i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize