That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
