she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
