if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
