This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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