that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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