oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
