It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
