Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I did not marry a roomba.
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