Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
