I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
