Porn is love you can see.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
