But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
