I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
