I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
