Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
