if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
