you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it glows. i had to have it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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