OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
