Where is the hickey?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
