Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
