lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
