If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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