you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
