I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm passing your future prison.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
