So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
