He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
